Face The Raven
by Angel1876
Summary: An eternity spent in only a moment, kept frozen between one heartbeat and her last. Clara spent a long, long time, traveling in her stolen TARDIS, so very much like the Doctor himself. But she couldn't evade death all together. Sooner or later, she'd have to come back, to face the raven she'd left behind.


For the first time since embarking on this journey, Clara found herself alone.

It was necessary, of course. There were many, many reasons not to allow Me to accompany her back to Gallifrey. First and foremost, it was a question of Me's own safety. There was no guarantee the Time Lords would prove merciful, and indeed, they had already proven themselves more cruel than any other monster she'd ever met in her travels. The moment she'd learned of what had happened in the confession dial, not to mention just how long it had gone on for, they became neigh irredeemable in her eyes. The second reason she couldn't take her companion with her was for the safety of the rest of the universe.

Clara had long since forgiven the immortal for her involvement in what became(would become?) of her on Trap Street. However, that didn't mean she could trust her with a TARDIS. The ability to go wherever and whenever in all of time and space was very much a huge responsibility, and she couldn't take the risk that Me might falter. So they found a planet, away from Earth, a planet still capable of space travel so she wouldn't be confined to one place, and that was the planet she'd left her on.

It'd been a tearful goodbye. Tearful for one of them, at least. The thing about having every function of one's body suspended was that there was only a limited supply of tears to shed, and she'd given all she had a long, long time ago.

The only sound left was the quiet hum of the console. No movement of another, no beating of a heart. It left a hollow feeling, an emptiness that rang out, the sound of finality. She needed to go back. And it wasn't bad, not really. To think, she'd lived several thousand years now, much longer than she could have ever expected to had the Raven not been hovering over her.

Still...even after all this time, she wasn't ready. Why does everyone think I'm so scared?, she'd asked, once upon a time. Put on a brave face, gave a laugh in the shadow of what must be.

The answer was, Because you keep running away.

And what was wrong with running away? He always did.

The Doctor...

Not once during her travels had she forgotten the man. Not once did she look at a situation, and not try to do right by him. He couldn't remember her, so she remembered for them both. She'd gone to see him a couple of times, watched him from afar, or sometimes came close for small talk. It went without saying that she made it a point to avoid points on his timeline where he would actually know who she was, despite how much his not recognizing her hurt.

Hands that had been resting on the controls slid into motion, inputting commands with a causality built from several lifetimes of repetition. Treating the TARDIS just as she was, an old friend.

Sooner or later, she had to return to Trap Street, but so long as she did do that at some point, she could do whatever she wanted in the meantime. She'd already been traveling for quite a while, what was one last stop before she went?

The diner materialized, and she lingered inside a few moments longer, steeling herself.

Trees rustled with the touch of warm air, a pleasant spring breeze. Humans, both young and old, some of them accompanied with a pet dog or two, wandered about the area. A park. The point in his timeline chosen with care, sometime after she'd left him, and sometime between adventures, so that neither of them could be distracted.

Clara stepped out of her TARDIS, and waited.

Two people walked out of the box, the Doctor and the young woman that had joined him after she'd left. She hopped this was a good one, that they were close, that they made each other better. Clara offered a smile, which was returned, before the woman left them with a whispered word from the Doctor.

He approached her alone, an awkward air about him, and she found herself smiling, a sweet sort of ache tugging at her chest. Old emotions rekindled, mixed with a flood of nostalgia.

"Hey..." he said.

"Hey."

And the silence crept in. This would be the part that they should hug. Hug, and laugh, and fill the air with talk of the past. Clara didn't fool herself, she knew that couldn't happen, that what they were was lost to them both. It still stung, but she wasn't expecting any different.

So she hugged herself, arms folded over her chest, inching forward a few steps, but keeping well out of his space.

"How've you been?" she asked.

"Eh, you know. Can't complain. Just stopped another invasion, so...it must be Tuesday."

"How is she?"

"Bill? She's nice." He glanced behind her, searching the very empty space between her and the diner. "How's uh...?"

"She's fine. Just dropped her off, actually."

"Anything you need help with?"

"Nah. Just came to say hi."

"...hi, Clara."

A pang went through her at the sound of her name.

"Saved the world a couple of times, you know." Her voice took on a lightly proud air, her arms moving to rest behind her back, her stance more open. "Swung back here, helped out where I could."

"Yes, I've heard some stories. Seems the president was more than thrilled when she had to put entire nation on lock down in 2097...over a Mario game."

"Hey, shut up. That console was sending off weird signals. Could have been bad."

"How did you find me?"

"Been keeping tabs. Same as you, apparently."

"You think I've been keeping tabs?"

"Well...you know about the Mario thing."

"Ah, that. Probably just heard about it. Rumors. People talk. Besides, lock down's aren't something you can miss. Made things a bit difficult for me, you know. Had to stop a group of angels and hit my head on the government at every turn."

"Sorry about that."

"Are you?"

"Nah, not really."

The banter felt good. She gave him a cheeky grin, and he let out a chuckle in return. Soon, though, the conversation fell into a lull, the awkward tension returning. Clara found herself looking into his eyes, as if this might jog his memory, but there was nothing there. No trace of recognition. It was a good thing. It was better he didn't remember, better for them both.

He took a small step closer. "Are you leaving?"

She knew he didn't mean the park. "Yeah."

"...are you okay?"

"Yeah. I am."

His arms fell around her before she realized just how close they'd gotten. For a brief moment, she stiffened, startled, the contact clashing with her expectations. Within moments, though, between the ghost of breath against the side of her head and the warmth seeping into her from his skin, she found herself relaxing, returning the hug. Her eyes closed, and here, now, she felt safe.

He was patient, let the embrace linger, this moment for her benefit. It was Clara who pulled back, eased away, felt his fingers trail down her arms to curl about her hands as she did. His head bent down, mouth pressed ever so gently to her knuckles, before he released her.

"I'll see you around, then, Doctor."

"And I'll be here. Whenever you need."

With those final words, with a goodbye that wasn't a goodbye, because she hated endings just as much as he did, Clara turned and made her way back toward the diner.

He watched her go.

And it was true that he couldn't remember, that none of the things which made him love her in the first place were there. That didn't stop him from wishing they were, though. Nor did it stop him from seeing her smile, and her eyes, and knowing that he could have loved them now, if given enough time.

There was a reason they couldn't travel together anymore. Even without his memories, it would have been a far too simple a matter of becoming the hybrid anew. Two people who loved each other so much that they would have torn the universe asunder if that's what it took. That was dangerous, that went against both their morals.

But that didn't mean he'd have let her leave without the best farewell he could. She deserved that, if nothing else.

He waited there, until the diner vanished completely, before turning himself, and going back to Bill.


End file.
